Love me, hate me,
you decide it.
Love you, hate you,
i'll decide it.
But friend or foe,
we decide it.
click on We Belong Together ... to navigate
Love me, hate me,
you decide it.
Love you, hate you,
i'll decide it.
But friend or foe,
we decide it.
click on We Belong Together ... to navigate
i'm still waiting
i'm still waiting
i'm still waiting
i'm still waiting
The difference between guts and balls...
We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the *** and having the balls to say: "You're next."
I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.
80-year old man...
An 80-year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. “I’ve never been better!” he boasted. “I’ve got an 18-year-old bride who’s pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?”
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, “Let me tell you a story.
I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun.”
The doctor continued, “So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?” the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied, “No.”
The doctor continued, “The bear dropped dead in front of him!”
“That’s impossible!” exclaimed the old man. “Someone else must have shot that bear.” Replied the doctor, “That’s kind of what I’m getting at.”
Golf...
A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up
ahead of him and went to her and said, "Can you please help me, I don't know what hole I'm on".
She told him "You are one hole behind me. I'm on 7; you're on 6."
He thanked her & continued playing golf. Later he got lost again.
He saw the same lady and went to her again kind of embarrassed.
"I'm sorry to bother you again but I'm lost again, can you please
tell me what hole I'm on."
Lady : You are one hole behind me. I'm on 14; you are on 13.
Again he thanked her and continued playing golf. When he finished he saw her in the clubhouse. He went up to her and asked if he could buy her a drink for helping him out. She accepted.
As they were drinking & talking he asked her what she did for a
living.
"I'm in sales."
He replied, "no kidding so am I. What do you sell?"
Lady : It's too embarrassing to tell.
But after he kept pleading to know what she sold she said she'd tell him if he promised not to laugh. He promised.
Lady : I sell WHISPER (Sanitary Napkins).
He immediately fell to the floor laughing hysterically.
Lady : You promised you wouldn't laugh.
He replied, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. I sell toilet paper... I'm still one hole behind you."
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 KPH. He thinks to himself, "this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"
So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-two kilometers an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.
The Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22 was the highway number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't made a peep this whole time," the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Highway 189"!!!!!
Being deaf...
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time." The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis......fifty times."
Holy holy...
Two kids are in Sunday School. A girl who keeps falling asleep sits next to a boy with his pen out.
The teacher asks, "Who created heaven and earth?" The boy pokes the girl in the side with his pen.
"God almighty!" yells the girl.
"Very good!" says the teacher. The girl starts to snooze off again.
The teacher asks, "Who died for our sins?" The boy pokes her with his pen again.
"Jesus Christ!" yelled the girl.
"Very good." The girl goes off to sleep again.
The teacher asks, "What did Eve say to Adam after having their 26th kid?" The boy pokes her with the pen again.
The girl yells, "If you put that thing into me one more time, I swear I'll break it in half!"
The teacher fainted.
haha. hoped you had a good laugh. if not too bad. aww. i'm tired...
i'm still waiting
i'm still waiting
i'm still waiting
Profile
name: lin qi elroy
age: 19
d.o.b: 24/03/88
school: temasek poly design school
sports freak
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